Sunday, December 16, 2012
Tomorrow...
Tomorrow holds an unknown day. I am going back to work at an elementary school. I don't know what the day will hold. Will my kids be okay? Will they express their parents' fears as their own? Will they have wrenching fears of their own? I don't know. I will try to reassure their sense of safety. I will try to let them know that I am there to keep them safe. But, I don't know what tomorrow holds. I pray that they come to school as happy-go-lucky children as children should.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Going back to school
Moms dread and celebrate these words (I can admit others' secrets on this, I'm a teacher). But, I am doing it now as an adult. I am excited about the prospects. But, I am completely stressed and anxious about the change in job and having to time the finishing of my classes just right. I have only been taking 2 classes at a time. But, starting this week, I will be taking 4 classes. This will continue for the next 3 weeks. I may be at my nervous breaking point by next week.
At the end of this long tunnel (of college classes and teaching elementary school at the same time), I see a light with new opportunities. I will work 9-5, Monday-Friday. I will get to leave at the end of the day and any stress will stay there. I won't have to worry about my kids, have to think of new ideas to teach them better, or need to come up with ways to earn more money for the school. I will get to live life outside of school and not feel guilty that I am not dedicating enough of myself.
Teaching is not what it was. Teachers are blamed for everything. People who have never worked with children are the ones making the decision as to what I am supposed to teach. People who won't provide the money for my class is expecting my to have things in my room that cost me. Last year, I was expected to teach reading without books! I feel that teaching is not the esteemed profession that it used to be and it is not getting any better. It is time for me to move on.
Okay, I am done ranting about teaching. I am now also in the position of learning. I like learning. But, it is funny being a teacher and learning from people who got into the profession they teach without ever learning to teach. I have had a couple of professors that I have wanted to shake and say "you don't have basic social skills, you don't teach if you can't interact with other people!" HAHA. Oh, well. Luckily, I have the book.
At the end of this long tunnel (of college classes and teaching elementary school at the same time), I see a light with new opportunities. I will work 9-5, Monday-Friday. I will get to leave at the end of the day and any stress will stay there. I won't have to worry about my kids, have to think of new ideas to teach them better, or need to come up with ways to earn more money for the school. I will get to live life outside of school and not feel guilty that I am not dedicating enough of myself.
Teaching is not what it was. Teachers are blamed for everything. People who have never worked with children are the ones making the decision as to what I am supposed to teach. People who won't provide the money for my class is expecting my to have things in my room that cost me. Last year, I was expected to teach reading without books! I feel that teaching is not the esteemed profession that it used to be and it is not getting any better. It is time for me to move on.
Okay, I am done ranting about teaching. I am now also in the position of learning. I like learning. But, it is funny being a teacher and learning from people who got into the profession they teach without ever learning to teach. I have had a couple of professors that I have wanted to shake and say "you don't have basic social skills, you don't teach if you can't interact with other people!" HAHA. Oh, well. Luckily, I have the book.
Christmas shopping is almost complete!
I have to pick up 2 items that I have ordered on Friday and I have completed my Christmas shopping. I haven't hit the budget too hard, so yay for me! It's funny, we actually didn't get my husband's brothers gift card this year. They will be in shock. They are much younger than my husband. Teenagers, what do you get them. But, they are getting older, so it has made it a little easier to shop for them.
I hope you have a wonderful day. Hope to talk to you again soon.
I hope you have a wonderful day. Hope to talk to you again soon.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
It's nice to meet you...
Hi,
I am a modern woman. I am a nurturer. I am a good cook. I am a hard worker. I am strong. I am weak. I am complicated. I am simple. I am emotional. I am a worrier. I am happy. I am sad. I am opinionated. I am easy going.
Today, I shopped online looking for a Christmas present for my husband. I was also watching t.v. I find it hard to only do one thing. "New Girl" was on and a character on the show said that by the time you are 30, 90% of your eggs are gone. I immediately opened a new web page and verified this information. From my reading, 88% of your eggs are gone by age 30. I had already read that fertility for couples at 30 goes down to 1/3 of what it was at your most fertile time. This is all so much for me to take in.
I am almost 31. I still do not have children. We started trying when I was 27. This has been a long trying process for me. We can't afford anything like in vitro. Most recently, I have decided to change careers. So next summer, I hope to finish my next degree and begin my next career. It means that we have stopped trying but not trying to prevent getting pregnant, especially since it seems unlikely. You see, I have PCOS. Not impossible to get pregnant, just with a much lower chance. We had also planned on starting to look at adoption in December. But with my career change, we have decided to wait until next year. We want to be able to give our children a stable life without a lot of the family's financial worries that we had as children. Don't get me wrong, we want our children to respect the family's budget and understand that we didn't hit the lottery yesterday. But I don't want them to worry about us being able to keep a roof over their heads or groceries in the fridge.
This really put a damper on my evening of online shopping for Christmas. I love making Christmas happen in my home and for my family (in my home and extended).
Well, in the mean time, I got a dog. I am covered in dog hair. I took her for a walk today. She peed on everything that smelled of another dog. Eventually, it was only a drop at a time. That was pretty funny. She has only lived with us for a week. I got her at the Humane Society. She is really sweet. She keeps the volume of that biological clock alarm a little quieter.
I am a modern woman. I am a nurturer. I am a good cook. I am a hard worker. I am strong. I am weak. I am complicated. I am simple. I am emotional. I am a worrier. I am happy. I am sad. I am opinionated. I am easy going.
Today, I shopped online looking for a Christmas present for my husband. I was also watching t.v. I find it hard to only do one thing. "New Girl" was on and a character on the show said that by the time you are 30, 90% of your eggs are gone. I immediately opened a new web page and verified this information. From my reading, 88% of your eggs are gone by age 30. I had already read that fertility for couples at 30 goes down to 1/3 of what it was at your most fertile time. This is all so much for me to take in.
I am almost 31. I still do not have children. We started trying when I was 27. This has been a long trying process for me. We can't afford anything like in vitro. Most recently, I have decided to change careers. So next summer, I hope to finish my next degree and begin my next career. It means that we have stopped trying but not trying to prevent getting pregnant, especially since it seems unlikely. You see, I have PCOS. Not impossible to get pregnant, just with a much lower chance. We had also planned on starting to look at adoption in December. But with my career change, we have decided to wait until next year. We want to be able to give our children a stable life without a lot of the family's financial worries that we had as children. Don't get me wrong, we want our children to respect the family's budget and understand that we didn't hit the lottery yesterday. But I don't want them to worry about us being able to keep a roof over their heads or groceries in the fridge.
This really put a damper on my evening of online shopping for Christmas. I love making Christmas happen in my home and for my family (in my home and extended).
Well, in the mean time, I got a dog. I am covered in dog hair. I took her for a walk today. She peed on everything that smelled of another dog. Eventually, it was only a drop at a time. That was pretty funny. She has only lived with us for a week. I got her at the Humane Society. She is really sweet. She keeps the volume of that biological clock alarm a little quieter.
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